The Many Faces of My Soul

An Original Poem reflecting on the many potential past lives who have impacted the soul I am today.

Inspired by wondrous revelations after taking a course that helps to reveal past life traumas and current life patterns, beliefs, and doubts, I’m embracing all the “memories” I’ve seen along this journey. Talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly—we have all come from a mix of all three and I saw myself in all lights. And yet, I saw a recurring theme of repressed feminine power and a woman just trying to express her voice in a deaf world.

It haunts me

Those voices

Those visions

Those distant yet close feels

How can I remember something I don’t remember experiencing?

I feel it in my reactions

I sense it in my sabotage

I act it out in my isolation

I silence it in my obedience

I fear it in my overthinking

It’s a confusion of being me yet not me

Well, which is it?

Both

She is one and the same, her and I

The original who beget me before the others took power

The soul of Akashawa, angelic healer

Born to purposely face the toughest of Earth’s challenges

To know herself again

I am closer

I am still her

She existed even in all those other lives

Adessa the Amazon priestess

Who fought valiantly until she could fight no more

Before succumbing to submission

Feeling the burden of that failure to protect her kin in life after life

Oh Adeleine, you feisty heiress

How your mouth got you into trouble

And your defiant actions a reputation as scandalous

But you courageously never give a fuck

Ironically, a non-conformist to her core

I find safety and solace in compliance

Where is that spirit now?

And what’s with all the A’s when I now start with a J?

Though many nameless lives have yet to reveal their full colors to me

Bearing only a hint of what was

A Sexually Repressed Nun

A Botched Lobotomy

A Cruel Dictator

Forbidden Love

Forced Love

Captured Royalty turned Servant

An Abandoned Orphan

An Atlantean Priestess

I see them all

I feel them all

I am them all

Even the sainted and evil ones

How I yearn to sync with who I truly am

How I need to repress obedience instead of self expression

How I forgive the maiden warrior who made a mistake

How I desire to accept what partnership could be

How I brave to use my voice without fear

Rejection

Abandonment

Punishment

Death

They are not coming for me anymore

Not in this life

I am free

She who is me calls me back to my present and future

You KNOW who you are

Ignite the best and worst of you

Light the fire, woman

And show all those other lives what they have been waiting for